We are responsible for what we say and not for how what we say affects people. Guard your emotions.
Yesterday, I wrote about “Love is an antidote to depression. End the stigma.”
In that post, I wrote:
“Even though we are responsible for what we say and how what we say affects people, we still need to take cognizance of their emotions by treating them right.”
When I read it again this morning, I realized there was a major omission in that sentence. So I corrected it to:
“Even though we are responsible for what we say and not how what we say affects people, we still need to take cognizance of their emotions by treating them right.”
By reading, researching, studying myself and the people in my space, and by observing nature, I try not to hold on to a lopsided view of life. Many people blame their feelings of frustration, pain, regret, guilt, and depression on unkind words from people who should have known better than to utter such words. However, I have also come to realise that people are responsible for what they say, not how what they say affects you emotionally.
Our emotional response to words is tied to being vulnerable with people we expect to understand our situations. What if the words were said generally and without the intention to hurt your feelings, but rather to correct you? I know this is not the case in every scenario. But if we are to stop being petty, we must deliberately guard how we interpret the words spoken to us.
If you are in doubt about the intention behind certain words, ask questions to clarify, if there is an opportunity to do so. Or choose to take the positive side of the conversation and manage your thoughts and emotions.
Some tough words I have had to deal with include:
-
“You are a leech.”
I told myself I am not. I add value. -
“You are half-baked.”
I told myself I would stay in the oven until I was fully baked. -
“Stop being petty.”
I took it as good advice and checked my emotions. -
“You talk too much.”
I shared my thoughts on my blog. -
“You can’t afford this.”
I told myself, wait for your time and work smarter. -
“Didn’t you use a deodorant?”
I upgraded to a better one and was thankful for the feedback. -
“You are not professional.”
I decided to go for training and nurture an excellent mindset. -
“You are naïve.”
I read more and researched new things. -
“You are too gullible.”
I learned to scrutinise my decisions and check them with my significant other. -
“You are too sensitive.”
I told myself it is a gift of compassion, and I will manage it well.
…and many others that have been erased from my memory.
When we learn to manage our feelings and not react emotionally to what we think people mean by their words, we save ourselves from many mental headaches and prevent emotional and mental breakdowns.
