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Choosing our relationships wisely and intentionally may just be the next step to attaining the kind of stability that was referred to in the last post.
Recall that in the previous post, Scott Haltzman, noted that, “when people get into a relationship, they are looking for stability”.
The list of stability we crave for on a daily basis is endless; mental, emotional, psychological, financial, economical, educational, just to say a few.
The bipolar individual naturally craves for emotional stability. Hence, Russ Federman, Ph.D, ABPP, who is a renowned author and counsellor, asserts that, ‘the down side of living with bipolar disorder is that you don’t get a guarantee for emotional stability’.
One way I have been able to achieve emotional stability over the years is to consciously choose my friends. One of such friends, who has brought much stability to my life is Star (permit me to call her that for the purpose of this write up).
I first met Star in my second year at the University where I was studying for a Diploma Certification in Law. She was a fresher in the Diploma in Law Department. Somehow, we ran into each other in fellowships, food cafes, girls hostels and just exchanged causal greetings, to say we would later become acquainted, how much more friends would have been unbelievable.
Soon, I obtained my Diploma in Law Certification, passed my Joint Admission Matriculation Board (JAMB) examination and got admission to study Theatre arts in the main campus; she also got admitted to study Theatre Art in the main campus that same year, forfeiting her pursuit for a certification in Diploma in Law.
While in the same department, I was more of a lone ranger, she on the other hand, was a ‘people person’ in a very silent way. I couldn’t fathom why students and lecturers seemed to be fond of her; this natural appeal to people earned her the position of Vice-President of the Theatre Arts Association, when she contested. I just could not fathom it out, until…
I had a bipolar relapse in the first semester of my final year in the university. The relapse was sudden and severe. I left campus without prior notice to any lecturer or student and was admitted in a hospital outside my town of residence rendering me incommunicado; no means of communication was made available to me.
The doctors insisted I needed uninterrupted bed rest. Well, my body rested, but my mind did not! I was on the verge of missing my final exams and gaining an extra year. Saying I was worried was an understatement but all I could do was hope and pray for divine help.
After a month, I was discharged and given my phones. I slot in my SIM card and within two hours I got a flash from Star, then a text message expressing pleasant surprise that my phone was now switched on. After opening up to her about the ordeal I had been through, this sister of mine vowed that, I will graduate and I will be fine by the grace of God.
Divine intervention came in the form of an ASUU (Academic Staff Union of Universities) strike that lasted for months, by the time I was back on campus, the strike was still on. This gave me enough time to read and prepare for my final exams.
Star took me to all the lecturers whose lectures, tests and assignments I had missed, and I was pardoned and favoured to do the makeup for what I missed.
I did not only graduate that same year, I served with the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) scheme mandatory for bona fide graduates in Nigeria, relocated to Lagos State to stay with her family on invitation and got my first job through her tireless promptings.
What more? Through Star, I met my husband who was a colleague to her then. Sometimes, I think to myself, if this lady had not chosen me as a sister, loved me like proverbs 17:17 described, where and how would my life have been?
Whether you have been diagnosed bi-polar, or are recovering from bi-polar, truth is you will always need relationships that will bring you the kind of stability you require per time. Being able to assert who to confide your bi-polar struggles in, with the intention of cultivating a stable and integrity conscious relationship will also help.
If you are reading this and you are not bi-polar, maybe you are a ‘Star’, please realize that, we need one another, let God lead you to that person or group of persons, you need to empower with the resources He has put in you.
Heavenly Father, Lead me to stable and empowering relationship, in Jesus Name, Amen.
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV), Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)
My name is Precious, I was Bi-polar and I live a full life
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