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Relationships: What Values are you presenting?
It’s been a very stretching week for me, going by the series of events I have had to deal with. At some point I was disheartened. Thanks to everyone who posted a word of encouragement on my Facebook page. Notwithstanding, I am fully persuaded that nothing will make me live below God’s standard for my life. By God’s grace, my vision, dreams/goals for this year will not be short changed by grief, fear, or any unpleasant occurrence. This means that I will constantly and consciously seek to apply God’s perspective on any issue of concern, and also fulfil any medical obligation that comes with the situation.
Enough of me, how has your week been? You can leave me a message at email@example.com if you feel like sharing with me.
Few years ago, when I completed my secondary school education or high school as it is referred to in the western world, I met a young lady about the same age as myself. Her name was Ada. We soon became good friends, especially when we discovered that we had a common goal: to pass our Joint Admission Matriculation Examinations (JAMB), a requirement to gain admission into an higher institution in my country. Where am I heading with this story? Ada was the first person to call me Precious.
She said to me, “your name, Avwunuma, is too hard for me to pronounce, don’t you have an English name?” “No, my parents didn’t give me any”, I replied her. She stared at me briefly and with a simile on her face she said, “From today, I will call you Precious. You are precious. You are precious to me.”
This morning, I could not stop thinking about this conversation that happened in year 1999. Why did Ada name me ‘Precious’? In my part of the world, names are taken very seriously; they are usually given thoughtfully, with a clear and deliberate meaning in most cases. Without trying to sound immodest, I think Ada gave me that name because of the value she derived from my relationship with her at that stage of our lives. What value are you offering in your relationships? I once heard someone say to a single lady who was worried about not attracting the quality of man she desired, he said, “Put the right value on yourself and you will attract the right man.”
Whether you are suffering from any mental health disorder or you are looking for the right spouse or you are hoping to upgrade your standard of living, you need the right relationships. To achieve this you have to start with yourself. What are your values? What do you stand for or against?
Your values work like a magnet; it will naturally attract its kind.
Take time out this week to evaluate your values and relationships. Do you have relationships that are tearing you apart? Do your friends understand what it is that you are dealing with in terms of your mental health? Can you conveniently share your dreams or aspirations with them without the fear of pessimism from them? Do they help to monitor your recovery process? Do they encourage you to heed to your doctor’s prescription? Can they go the extra mile to help you get your drugs when you can’t or do they drive you to the hospital when you are not in the right frame of mind? Please note that I am not talking about a marriage relationship here. If you have a spouse who does not understand your ordeal or does not seem to be on the same page with you on your health issues, my advice to you is to seek professional help. See a trained counsellor or marriage coach. If you are a believer, look up scriptures on marriage and gain godly wisdom to save your marriage.
After all is being said and done, check your value level. Good relationships strive on love, understanding, commitment, loyalty…. It should entail giving the right value and receiving quality value in return.
My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.
Heavenly Father, I derive my value from my relationship with you. Help me to remain relevant to you and ensure that I cultivate the right relationships in Jesus name, Amen.