Self-Appraisal: Associations, Environment & Relationships
While reflecting on 2016 in preparation for the New Year, a few thoughts have stuck with me. Waking up this morning, I had the following impressed on my heart as I did a quiet audit of God’s faithfulness while lying down on the bed. It’s 3: 37 am as I write this.
Associations are important
Environment matters
Relationships are key
So, I’m asking myself,
‘have you been careful to interpret the circumstances of your life within the framework of God’s purpose for you in 2016?’
‘Have you represented God well in 2016?
‘Have you been committed and diligent to your God-given assignments in 2016?’
Only God can appraise me. If I tried, I would be too hard on myself and properly get myself into a mood. But taking about God-given assignments, I don’t think I have done all I was met to do for this blog, and I asked myself, why? What held me back?
Self-consciousness. I got to a place where I felt vulnerable, too afraid to share what was going on in my life because of the fear of being misunderstood. But the Lord gently reminded me yesterday, ‘it’s not about you, it’s about the lessons of your experiences and the hope that is rekindled in the heart of another when IDB stories are shared.’
Having experienced a terrible phase of depression in August, several hospital visits and updated medications, I really did not know where to start the story from. I sort of got into self-denial. Speaking with my physiologists made me realise that. I tried to pray, but I also knew a new season was about to be unfolded.
Sometimes, with depression comes the opportunity to see life differently. With depression comes the test of focus, and also the test of self-love. In what I would describe as a tough phase in my 2016 I have also experienced first-hand, that;
1. Associations are important. The people we surround ourselves with on a daily basis can determine the dynamics of how we conduct ourselves. I found myself in some associations that made me walk on eggshells, some made me determined, others stretched me beyond my imagination and squeezed out the dominant juice that makes me, ‘me.’ Our associations are important.
2. Environment matters. The relationship you keep determines your environment. And I agree with Daddy Showkey when he said in an interview on TVC’s Your View, ‘We learn by our associations.’ He said he wasn’t privileged of a formal education but learned a bit of English by his associations. If you are constantly in an environment of fear, lack, want and depression, check the people in your life again. Ask yourself where is this toxic coming from and detoxify yourself or you move out to a safer space if you keep getting toxic as a result of these associations. That’s one bitter truth I had to face this year.
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| Myself and My PreciousRuby, two months after the wedding. |
3. Relationships are key. In facing that painful truth, that environment matters and that my associations determine my environment, I have come to appreciate the relationships I have. First, being my relationship with God. Second, my relationship with my husband and then, the relationship with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. In this, I have been reminded that God’s love for me is constant. He does not give up on me. He disciplines me by His love. He keeps me by his love. And like that songwriter, I can say, ‘I love the way He fathers me.’ My husband is my PreciousRuby, the one who received grace to ‘husband’ me. Lol. I am grateful for his commitment and love, always looking out for my right, paying attention to details I would ordinary have overlooked. Family is everything. Even though we don’t get to see eyeball to ball on every issue, they stand by me through thick and thin. Friends. If I go into friends, this post will be too long. But I have had friends like family that has made my journey easier. I have had colleagues who have challenged me to all round growth, and I have been blessed with a boss, Bidemi Mark-Mordi, who sees untapped potentials in me and makes investments to bring them to fore. Good relationships are not found on the surface. They are huge investment. Keep them well.
Till the next post, this is Precious wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year ahead.
My Name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a full life.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am grateful. I am one of the ones who has come to say THANK YOU. You have been so good to me. THANK YOU. For how you Father me, THANK YOU. For all the things you do, THANK YOU.
If you are constantly in an environment of fear, lack, want and depression, check the people in your life again. – Precious A. Emodamori
Reference:
- “…be ready to interpret the events and circumstances of your life within the framework of God’s purpose for your life.” – Bidemi Mark-Mordi , during the last Sista Power Gathering in the year 2015. She is a Life Coach, Publisher, and Author.
- Your View is Television Continental’s morning chat show hosted by five women of different backgrounds, disciplines, and experiences.
- “Daddy Showkey is a veteran Nigerian gala singer. He was popular in Ajegunle in the late 1990s. He was born as John Asiemo but is known as Daddy Showkey…” Source: Wikipedia
- ‘The Way You Father Me’ song by Elijah Oyelade