It is often said that, ‘love your neighbour as yourself’, but sometimes I wonder if it is possible to love your neighbour more than yourself! Is it possible? Is it possible to love, sacrifice, serve, and give another priority over oneself? Is it really possible to seek another person’s joy and comfort and put yourself in the back burner? Is it healthy?

Elizabeth Svoboda, a science writer and author, in an article – ‘Selflessness…or Self Sabotage?’ posted on – affirms that, “…there is such a thing as being too selfless.”
Being too selfless could be destructive to your mental health, especially if you have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. The point is not to stop every act of kindness or generosity, but rather to be conscious of exaggerated acts of kindness and to ensure a balance. If like me, you struggle to buy yourself a piece of literature you love but find it easy to give the money meant for buying it as a gift of benevolence, then you are not loving yourself enough! Come to think of it, loving your neighbor when you have not loved yourself can be interpreted as an eye service or an act of displaced priority.
So here I was, standing face to face with, Americanah, a novel by Chimanda Ngozi Adiche, a writer that I admire. Previously, I had read, Half of a Yellow Sun and Purple Hibiscus, and I was excited when I read the previews for Americana. Four years after, it is published, I’m standing right in front of it, struggling to make a decision to buy it! I struggled so bad that I had to send a Whatsapp to my Sista Support to say, ‘I am tempted to buy this book Sis. I have the cash with me but it feels as if I’m wasting the money. Please tell me it is okay to buy and that I’m not wasting money rather, I’m giving myself a treat!’
Funny as it sounds, sometimes that’s my way of ensuring balance! What’s your way of ensuring balance? Please share with me. I would love to learn from you.
What I learned from my experience?

1)    I am deserving. You are deserving. Free your mind of all those self-accusations and guilt feelings. Learn to enjoy your moments.

2)    I need to give myself treats more often. It is a healthy practice for my mental health. It doesn’t have to be my birthday, wedding anniversary or the children’s birthday celebration, every day is special, so I must treat it specially and show myself more love.

3)    Having a prompt and reliable support is priceless. My Sista Support runs a very busy schedule but she ALWAYS makes time for me! I know I’m blessed. And you too are blessed! Invest in your relationships, nurture them. If you do, you would be amazed at the benefits of having the right support.

Till the next post, stay focused, show yourself some love and keep blossoming…

My name is Precious, I was Bipolar and I live a Full life.

Some days, a Selfie
is all I have to show
myself some love! LOL!


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