Are you isolating yourself?
“When people are emotionally isolated, they keep their feelings completely to themselves, are unable to receive … engage emotionally, but are unable to do so out of fear or because they do not know how to proceed.”
A low self-esteem and a lack of confidence naturally lead to self –rejection. And this leads to the fear of rejection. Often, this also results to anxiety. If you do not love and accept yourself how you do expect others to? You live with yourself, whether you like the details of your life or not, you have to first learn to accept yourself. Self rejection will eventually lead to the fear of rejection. If you cultivate this negative fear, it wouldn’t be long before the people around will see that you do not love yourself or believe in yourself. Always remember, that you are your number one fan! No one will love you or understand you like you- apart from God, who created you and knows you inside out! This is why I always advocate that you give God controlling interest in your life. Instead of giving in to depression and isolation yourself because you think you will be rejected or because you think you have nothing to contribute, focus on all the wonderful things you can do if you had an opportunity to change the circumstances of the lives around you. Stop living for ‘yourself’ think about how you can improve the lives around you, you will gradually realize that you no longer feel that fear of rejection any more.
Self pity also has a part to play in depression. I have observed that self pity enjoys attention. It likes to spend time alone saying sorry to self, excusing self, preserving self, giving self the reasons why she should never embark on what is causing the current pain. Self pity can prevent us from seeing the larger picture because we have our eyes set on the smaller one.
When Lot departed from Abraham in Genesis 13, I love the way the LORD instructed Abraham in verse 14,
“And the LORD said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from, lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward, and southward, and eastward, and westward…” (emphasis mine)
Did you see that? “lift up now thine eyes” Lift up your eyes from the smaller picture. Focus on the larger picture. Shift your focus from self pity to the perseverance and tenacity that will help you achieve your goals. Take your attention from that failed relationship, or mismanaged opportunity, to the next level. Come to terms with your situation quickly and ask yourself what next? God gave Abraham clear instructions on what next, hence we did not see him depressed or confused when Lot departed. You too can rely on God’s guidance for your next step.