Are you isolating yourself?

Managing your mental health demands that you are well informed about what goes on in your mind. If you really want to get better and desire the best from your medications and doctors, then you need to be assertive when it comes to your health. Understand yourself, understand how you respond to your medication, your environment and know what triggers depression or manic episode, if your are managing bipolar disorder.

This post is a continuation of what I posted on the Facebook page, I Dare To Blossom. In that post, I asked,  ‘why do people isolate themselves when they are depressed?’ 

Isolation or withdrawal is a sign of depression. According to, 

“When people are emotionally isolatedthey keep their feelings completely to themselves, are unable to receive … engage emotionally, but are unable to do so out of fear or because they do not know how to proceed.”

From my personal experience with depression, I can say that, one reason why people isolate themselves when they are depressed because of the feeling of, ‘am not good enough’. A low self-esteem puck holes in the confidence we have in other aspects of our lives. Some persons ask themselves if they are good for anything in the first place. If you find yourself in this state often, aside from booking an appointment with your psychologists, be careful to remind yourself that you are good for so many things! Be careful to write down what you can do, beginning from the seeming routine things like, ‘ I can write’, ‘I can sing’, I can knit’, ‘I can bead’, ‘I can sow’, ‘I can read’, ‘I can teach’, ‘I can cook’, ‘I can do my laundry’, ‘I can get the grocery’, ‘I can bath myself and feed myself’- now I know this sounds funny, but you can imagine how life will be and how your self-esteem could be if you cannot do the above for yourself and by yourself. Some people can’t, this is why I believe that, you must celebrate your unique abilities, stretch them, enhance them to improve your self-esteem and confidence.

 A low self-esteem and a lack of confidence naturally lead to self –rejection. And this leads to the fear of rejection. Often, this also results to anxiety. If you do not love and accept yourself how you do expect others to? You live with yourself, whether you like the details of your life or not, you have to first learn to accept yourself. Self rejection will eventually lead to the fear of rejection. If you cultivate this negative fear, it wouldn’t be long before the people around will see that you do not love yourself or believe in yourself. Always remember, that you are your number one fan! No one will love you or understand you like you- apart from God, who created you and knows you inside out! This is why I always advocate that you give God controlling interest in your life. Instead of giving in to depression and isolation yourself because you think you will be rejected or because you think you have nothing to contribute, focus on all the wonderful things you can do if you had an opportunity to change the circumstances of the lives around you. Stop living for ‘yourself’ think about how you can improve the lives around you, you will gradually realize that you no longer feel that fear of rejection any more.

Self pity also has a part to play in depression. I have observed that self pity enjoys attention. It likes to spend time alone saying sorry to self, excusing self, preserving self, giving self the reasons why she should never embark on what is causing the current pain. Self pity can prevent us from seeing the larger picture because we have our eyes set on the smaller one. 
When Lot departed from Abraham in Genesis 13, I love the way the LORD instructed Abraham in verse 14,

“And the LORD said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from, lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward, and southward, and eastward, and westward…” (emphasis mine)

Did you see that? “lift up now thine eyes” Lift up your eyes from the smaller picture. Focus on the larger picture. Shift your focus from self pity to the perseverance and tenacity that will help you achieve your goals. Take your attention from that failed relationship, or mismanaged opportunity, to the next level. Come to terms with your situation quickly and ask yourself what next? God gave Abraham clear instructions on what next, hence we did not see him depressed or confused when Lot departed. You too can rely on God’s guidance for your next step.

Father, I ask that you guard me in all that you will have me do. Father, I do not want to isolate(separate) myself from YOU, so give me the grace to always remain connected to you irrespective of my circumstances. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Genesis 13:14- Kings James Version.

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